Two of the best things to come from trees are almonds and bananas. The best thing to come from trees are Talking Three Toed Sloths. I had the good fortune of running into a well-groomed gentleman sloth named Devin at a shisha bar the other day, and he shared with me this delicious recipe.
Recipe:

Ingredients
1 medium handful of raw almonds
1 medium banana
Directions
Open the banana. Use a “well-made” banana and open it using the “normal” method, which leaves your hand making contact with the banana peel and allowing the banana innards to make contact with the imbibing orifice.
Insert a few almonds into said orifice.
Chew.
Taste.
Swallow.

Calories: About 210.
Awesomeness: Variable, for this reporter, a 9.8 out of 10!
Warning: This recipe may contain tree nuts, or ingredients processed in the same facility that handles tree nuts. If you have tree nut allergies, you may experience a reaction just reading this article, and this article should probably not be read.

Pizza consumption has seen explosive increases worldwide since the 1970s. Until recently, that is. In 2004, the World Health Organization (WHO) saw a dramatic downturn in overall pizza sales growth, and since 2007 sales have actually been decreasing. What is behind this dramatic change? Some blame the liberal media’s obesity epidemic claims, others blame the influx of new franchises in abandoned Pizza Hut buildings, such as Chutney Hut. Foodenator’s own studies found quite another cause, however. In scientific polling, we found that people had simply grown bored with the “standard” pizza toppings. Working with grassroots and paramilitary groups, Foodenator activists began trying to stymie the pizza sales downturn by marketing new toppings: Buffalo Chicken, Pesto, and Margherita style pizzas. But this only slowed the bleeding. Fortunately, Pineappleope Research and Development teams got an early look at the data and were able to begin research on the next “Killer Topping” in the pizza world: fire. Later this summer, fire based toppings will begin to be offered alongside pepperoni and nutmeg at Bertucci’s and Dominos, and we expect fire-based toppings to be picked up independent pizza parlors across the world. PAO R&D shares went up an amazing 111 points this quarter, with further trading expecting it to cause a stock split and make investors jump up and down.

PAO R&D Senior Vice President Anthony Crabcarrier made the following statement outside of Pineappleope world headquarters yesterday: “Fire based toppings should be able to raise pizza sales and foster continued growth in the industry. But we don’t intend to stop there. We are busy working on frozen variations of the Flaming Pizza for sale in supermarkets. But we aren’t focusing just on pizza. We are also seeing promising data from our tests of new Fire Jimmies, which might be able to foster the same type of growth in the stagnant soft-serve sector.” Mr. Crabcarrier went on to caution that due to rigorous FDA regulations, it might be more than a year before these new products can hit the market. So don’t go crazy buying up Dairy Queen stock just yet.

What is a Sonoran Hot Dog?


Subject 1 (Group A): One Sonoran Style Hot Dog, uno Coca Cola hecho en mexico, and an order of Flan with Flan Juice to wash it down.
Subject 2 (Group A): Sammy Dog and Horchata
Subject 3 (Group B): Pollo Tacos
Subject 4 (Group B): Carne Asada Carmelos, Flan with Flan Nectar, and Jarritos.


Food results: Sonoran Hot Dogs are delicious!
Therapeutic results: After dining, no incidence of earlobe cancer was found in Group A. Group B did not develop any earlobe cancer related conditions, so we can safely conclude that there is no Second-Hand Sonoran Style cancer risks. What did we prove? That science is delicious!

our food PI failed to discover what is happening in this sandwich. can you help? also, we need assistance with this one.

To this gal.. YELLOW is fun. The rest are too goddamn serious. Screw you, M&Ms.

Coke Blak from Blak in the Day

In case you miss that stuff Coke was peddling a couple of years ago, Foodenator chemists have been working on reverse engineering (also known as revenging) the formula. After spending hundreds of thousands of dollars and 11 months, it turns out the solution is quite simple.

1. Take one can of coke, drink or pour about half of it off.
2. Add one package of Crystal Light tea-to-go mixture. Let it fizz and foam so that you don’t overflow on the next step.
3. Pour in some cold coffee to top off the can.

Walla! You know have Coke Blak and don’t need to search of it on the Black Market or order it from suspicious Chinese websites.

Next month, Ikea will hold five free cooking classes with well-known chefs as part of a marketing campaign with Family Circle, Mediaweek reports.

Food University Presented by Family Circle will stop at Ikeas in Seattle (Oct. 20, Caprial Pence), Costa Mesa, Calif. (Oct. 22, Katie Chin), Tempe, Ariz. (Oct. 28, Claudine Pepin), Sunrise, Fla. (Nov. 3, Oliver Saucy) and College Park, Md. (Nov. 5, Mary Ann Esposito) for two-hour seminars that promise an introduction to ingredients, tips on entertaining and spicing up a menu as well as healthy family recipes.

The seminars are free and open to the public.

via Ikea Offers Free Cooking Classes – Slashfood.

1 pk Frozen french fry potatoes,
-thawed (20 oz)
2 c Shredded Cheddar cheese
2 c Sour cream
1 cn Condensed cream of chicken
-soup (10 3/4 oz)
1 cn SPAM Luncheon Meat, cubed
-(12 oz)
1/2 c Chopped red bell pepper
1/2 c Chopped green onion
1/2 c Finely crushed corn flakes

Heat oven to 350′F. In large bowl, combine potatoes, cheese, sour cream, and soup. Stir in SPAM, bell pepper, and green onion. Spoon into 13×9″ baking dish. Sprinkle with crushed flakes.

Bake 30-40 minutes or until thoroughly heated.

Hint – to make it “Animal Style” – add mayo. Lots.