Foodenator

We here at Foodenator believe in two things: food, and being sexy. And sexy people watch other sexy people for ideas on becoming sexier. So we bring you an important new column: Dining with Celebrities. Foodenator caught up with sultry sex symbol Angelina Jolie Saturday morning in Santa Clara, where she was feeding a horse carrots and apples. We asked he why she didn’t feed the horse the last apple. Apparently, that apple is an important part of her diet. What does the Tomb Raider eat in the morning to keep her body lithe and toned? Given her penchant for adopting young children, you might be surprised to learn that Smoked Baby Clams and an apple are her breakfast of choice.

We reconstructed Jolie’s breakfast and have the following report. The clams were tasty and delicious, however there was a very fine grittiness to them that required ample amounts of Zazz to wash down. Eating the apple we once again could not find any seeds, which prompted us to look closely at the baby clams. They too were sexless! Is this androgyny due to sexual immaturity in the baby clams, or was it related to the clandestine neutering of fruit as in the apple. We may never know. But one thing was clear, while the Smoked Baby Clams were tasty, it was a strong flavor to have for breakfast, and if it weren’t for Angelina’s strong endorsement, we would probably prefer to have this meal alone, in our studio apartments, after 11pm, when we don’t have any girls over.

*** 1/2 (out of 10)