Foodenator

Crap is a delicious type of food. Especially spread on toast.

With the inception of 2010, many people have jumped on the eat healthy and exercise bandwagon of New Years resolutions. Eating healthy doesn’t have to be a negative experience and often there are ways a person can integrate healthy food into their normal diets. For instance, the Morningstar Farms brand makes Veggie Bacon strips which are actually created using soy beans. This is a great substitute for bacon bits on your salad. Simply follow the directions to cook the veggie bacon in the microwave and then crumble the strips onto a salad and enjoy!

Using soy products has many health benefits and no longer means that you have to sacrifice the taste of the food just to have a healthier lifestyle. Experts believe soy products can help to ward off certain types of cancer such as breast and prostate when consumed starting at an early age. It has also been proven to reduce the risk of coronary heart disease and lower cholesterol. Soy based products contains vitamins, minerals, fiber and protein and it comes in a variety of foods that kids like, such as chocolate soy milk, frozen pizza, taco “meat” and “chicken” nuggets.

There exists food out there which takes no preparation at all. Those foods are excluded from this list. These are the easiest foods to make. Chosen by a panel of food enthusiasts.

1. Grilled Cheese Sandwich: In its simplest form this is just a slice of cheese sandwiched between two slices of bread. Then toasted.

2. Spaghetti with Sauce: Throw spaghetti (or any pasta really) into a boiling pot of water. Wait several minutes. Strain spaghetti. Top with Sauce.

3. Hot Dog: Heat a hot dog in the microwave. Place heated dog in roll. Top with condiments of your choice.

I personally cannot wait to eat the hell out of this new world.

When your lunch box, or bag, starts to smell, you know you’ve had too many hamsandwiches without a proper cleaning. Do you you clean it though?

Your handy dandy Foodenators did some searching and found the best possible tips.

CLEAN: Place a paper towel dampened with white household vinegar inside. Leave overnight. In the morning, discard towel, then wash the bag or box and dry well. When it’s not in use, leave the lid open to air out.

MORON ALERT: Dispose of food scraps and wrappers as soon as possible, then use a napkin to wipe off the inside surface.

DISCUSS: How do you clean YOUR box?

Peanut Butter Pretzel is never a bad combo

Today on Foodenator, we review the Clif Mojo – Sweet and Salty Trail Mix Bar, in Peanut Butter Pretzel form. Clif Bars are widely known to be better tasting than Power Bars, but at the same time, less powerful. For unknown reasons, Clif branched out into the Mojo world, in which they combined “sweet and salty” flavors rather than their normal recipe of “sweet and kinda-gross”.

The bar itself is thinner, longer, and more slender. Nutrition wise, it does not appear to be up to snuff with the Clif Bar. Not quite as many vitamins and a bit more fat. It feels lighter too – “less brick-like” said one taster. It makes this writer fear that the Mojo will not be sufficient for a breakfast food. Upon tearing open the packaging, we were pleased visually. Little peanut butter chips, real pretzels, and a nice sugary shine, glistening under a florescent aura.

Real pretzel, and look at all those peanut butter chips!

First bite – GOOD. Very GOOD. Like.. really, good. Better than any Clif Bar, Power Bar, Luna Bar, and possibly better than every granola bar ever made. Except for Nature’s Valley Sweet and Salty Nut bars, those are really good. This borders candybar and healthybar like a Mexican in South Texas. Risky, and we can’t figure out which way its supposed to go.

Minutes later, the bar is gone. Its sustainability? Bad. Its too tasty, gets eaten too fast. Being light and crispy, sweet and salty, its hard to stop eating. Taste is good all the way through. No weird after taste. No soy detected, in fact – if it’s there, its hidden nicely.

This reviewer grants the Clif Mojo a solid 9 our of 10 fist pumps. Stay tuned for some live blog after effects!

UPDATE – 9/08/09

Clif Mojo Mixed Nuts just consumed. Tastes nuttier. More nuts are evident in this snack bar. Still pretzels, which is curious as pretzels are not nuts. Texture in this mobility activated mega high resolution food photo prove the evidence of nuts and pretzels together. Note, also, how there is a severely different texture and color compared to the Peanut Butter Pretzel above. Less peanut butteryness, we suspect, as there was no discussion of peanut butter on the wrappackaging.

A concerning fact about this Mixed Nuts bar, and possibly all Mojo bars, is the fact that it is only 70% organic!! You can see the proof in another high resolution photo. If 30% is not organic, does that mean its rocks and shit? The reviewer tasted  no rocks, and did not break any teeth – so this is an investigation to be continued. Stay tuned for more information, as well as a Honey Roasted Peanut flavor review down the road.

Sharp knives, we haz them. But do you know how to use it? Check out this chef – he’ll tell you whats what. Knife skills are important to cooking, and to your finger safety.

Q. Today’s question is “can you get drunk from beer can chicken”.

A. Dr. Dycookies has the answer, “No“. We had to pry it out of him but Dr. D goes on to explain that the beer, in beer can, aka beer butt chicken is just used for steaming. The chicken actually absorbs and consumes any alcohol, which is why this is also known as “drunken chicken”. So the chicken might get drunk – but you cannot.