Foodenator

Hey reader, you sure as shit can. Check out our Friendly Canadian Friends (FCF’s) at EpicMealTime – making the MEATZZA..

Popularity: 5%

First, we must ask ourselves what IS mayonnaise? Our experts report  ”Mayonnaise is an emulsion of oil and water” – and in fact has nothing to do with human body fluids. Thank goodness – cause that turkey sammich I’ma eat today was starting to weird me out.

One of our researchers also notes that “mayo has an incredibly high level of vitamins” which may, or may not be true. But hey, we still got to spread it all over this intern’s face to see what happened!

Now, back to the recipe stuff. We all know how difficult it can be to whip up your own mayo. Sometimes its too creamy, sometimes its too curdled, and sometimes it just flies all over the room and sticks to the walls and stuff. Nasty. Just, nasty. We found a guide, however, to make the task easier. Spoiler alert: They use a hand blender.

This article really breaks it down.. here’s the VIDEO FOOTAGE of this hot action.

Now, go on, make some mayo.

Popularity: 19%

Technically that shit is dead but damn it does have some slick moves. Researchers say the salty soy sauce stuff is making the squid muscles FREAK THE SHIT OUT, even though the top of its head was already cut off.
Better than eating cats at least.

Popularity: 19%

Those BBQ Pit Boys knows their shits. You drive to get beer, your car cooks your lunch, when you get home you drink your beer and eat those dogs. Shit fuckin yeh.

Comment!?

• now thats the real mans way to cook – azza7717

• sweet ride! - alogli

• @Sawchuk9 Shut the fuck up, faggot. Epic Meal Time is a show for cockloving dicktards. - Jallandhara

• jeremy clarkson tried and failed. gordon ramsey hates it - @d2cky
• EpicMealTime isn’t really about teaching people how to cook though. - Sawchuk9 7 hours ago

Popularity: 10%

This one’s borrowed from The Nasty Bits: Deep-Frying Brains. Its horrid and vomit inducing just reading about it. This unfathomably terrible recipe serves 6 as an appetizer, IT takes about active time 40 minutes from raw brain to fresh vomit.

All 4 testers in the foodenation lab broke down in tears after uncontrollably  projectile vomiting all over the test kitchen after the first bite of brain – so its really difficult to judge the eat-ability here. Our mind crunching conclusion is at the end. I think it’s safe to say that no fist pumps will be awarded – the events that occurred after this cook were, to say the least.. abnormal.

Here’s what you need:

• 1 head of garlic, skin on
• Black peppercorns in a cheesecloth
• 1 bay leaf
• bundle of fresh herbs
• 1 pound brains (lamb, pork, or calf)
• All purpose flour
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1 cup panko bread crumbs
• 1 quart vegetable oil for deep-frying
• For the green sauce:
• 1 bunch parsely, leaves only
• 1/2 bunch dill
• 1 small can of anchovy fillets, finely chopped
• 12 cloves of garlic, finely minced or grated
• 1 tablespoon capers, minced
• 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil, or to taste
• Freshly ground black pepper

Here’s what you do:

1. Bring a 2 quart pot of water to simmer and add in the garlic, peppercorns, and herbs. Simmer for 15 minutes. Then gently lower the brains into the pot and simmer for 6 minutes. Remove the brains with a slotted spoon and let cool. When the brains are cold and firm, separate the lobes into 2 inch chunks.
2. Meanwhile, prepare 3 bowls with the flour, the egg whisked with milk, and the breadcrumbs.
3. Heat the oil to 350°F. Roll each brain segment in flour, then coat it in the egg mix, then coat it in the breadcrumbs. Deep-fry the brain until they are golden brown and crispy, about 3 minutes. Drain on paper towels and serve immediately with green sauce.
4. To make green sauce: Finely chop herbs and mix with the anchovies, garlic, and capers. Add enough olive oil so that the mixture is spoonable but not runny. Season with black pepper.
   Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 19%

(Brought to you by Pineappleope.com)

Pineappleope.com is suiting up for the 2nd biggest weekend of the year, Kentucky Derby Weekend. For the uneducated, the Kentucky Derby is a horse race, quite famous in PAO offices around the country.

As a special Treat from Pineappleope.com to you, here is a secret recipe to construct the Official PAO Traditional Kentucky Derby Drink, the Mint Julip Elixir

4 c. water
2 c. sugar
4 c. loosely packed fresh mint leaves, chopped
4 c. bourbon
Crushed ice
Fresh mint leaves

Combine water and sugar in a medium saucepan; bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium and cook for 10 minutes. Reduce heat to low, add chopped mint leaves and simmer 30 minutes. Let syrup stand at room temperature overnight. Strain. Fill julep cups with crushed ice. Combine bourbon and mint syrup; pour over ice. Garnish with mint.

Popularity: 1%

Jagermeister on tap?! In crushed cheeseypoofs? Over baco cheeso sammich?!

Popularity: 5%

Aight my girl Emma gone show you what UP!

How to Crack an Egg With One Hand from Apartment Therapy: The Kitchn.

AIGHT GET CRACKIN!

Popularity: 2%

from Slashdot:

Dr. Alan Hirsch, Director of Chicago’s Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Center, says the key to a man’s heart, and other parts, is pumpkin pie. Out of the 40 odors tested in Hirsch’s study, a mixture of lavender and pumpkin pie got the biggest rise out of men ages 18 to 64. That particular fragrance was found to increase penile blood flow by an average of 40%. “Maybe the odors acted to reduce anxiety. By reducing anxiety, it acted to remove inhibitions,” said Hirsch.

FTA: “Every odor we tested aroused the participants,” said Hirsch. … “Nothing turns a man off.”

Erections or not, what pie do you choose? Take our PIE POLL and find out if you are normal! Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 54%

Two of the best things to come from trees are almonds and bananas. The best thing to come from trees are Talking Three Toed Sloths. I had the good fortune of running into a well-groomed gentleman sloth named Devin at a shisha bar the other day, and he shared with me this delicious recipe.
Recipe:

Ingredients
1 medium handful of raw almonds
1 medium banana
Directions
Open the banana. Use a “well-made” banana and open it using the “normal” method, which leaves your hand making contact with the banana peel and allowing the banana innards to make contact with the imbibing orifice.
Insert a few almonds into said orifice.
Chew.
Taste.
Swallow.

Calories: About 210.
Awesomeness: Variable, for this reporter, a 9.8 out of 10!
Warning: This recipe may contain tree nuts, or ingredients processed in the same facility that handles tree nuts. If you have tree nut allergies, you may experience a reaction just reading this article, and this article should probably not be read.

Popularity: 30%