Foodenator

Hey reader, you sure as shit can. Check out our Friendly Canadian Friends (FCF’s) at EpicMealTime – making the MEATZZA..

Popularity: 8%

First, we must ask ourselves what IS mayonnaise? Our experts report  ”Mayonnaise is an emulsion of oil and water” – and in fact has nothing to do with human body fluids. Thank goodness – cause that turkey sammich I’ma eat today was starting to weird me out.

One of our researchers also notes that “mayo has an incredibly high level of vitamins” which may, or may not be true. But hey, we still got to spread it all over this intern’s face to see what happened!

Now, back to the recipe stuff. We all know how difficult it can be to whip up your own mayo. Sometimes its too creamy, sometimes its too curdled, and sometimes it just flies all over the room and sticks to the walls and stuff. Nasty. Just, nasty. We found a guide, however, to make the task easier. Spoiler alert: They use a hand blender.

This article really breaks it down.. here’s the VIDEO FOOTAGE of this hot action.

Now, go on, make some mayo.

Popularity: 14%

Those BBQ Pit Boys knows their shits. You drive to get beer, your car cooks your lunch, when you get home you drink your beer and eat those dogs. Shit fuckin yeh.

Comment!?

• now thats the real mans way to cook – azza7717

• sweet ride! - alogli

• @Sawchuk9 Shut the fuck up, faggot. Epic Meal Time is a show for cockloving dicktards. - Jallandhara

• jeremy clarkson tried and failed. gordon ramsey hates it - @d2cky
• EpicMealTime isn’t really about teaching people how to cook though. - Sawchuk9 7 hours ago

Popularity: 8%

Jagermeister on tap?! In crushed cheeseypoofs? Over baco cheeso sammich?!

Popularity: 14%

from Slashdot:

Dr. Alan Hirsch, Director of Chicago’s Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Center, says the key to a man’s heart, and other parts, is pumpkin pie. Out of the 40 odors tested in Hirsch’s study, a mixture of lavender and pumpkin pie got the biggest rise out of men ages 18 to 64. That particular fragrance was found to increase penile blood flow by an average of 40%. “Maybe the odors acted to reduce anxiety. By reducing anxiety, it acted to remove inhibitions,” said Hirsch.

FTA: “Every odor we tested aroused the participants,” said Hirsch. … “Nothing turns a man off.”

Erections or not, what pie do you choose? Take our PIE POLL and find out if you are normal! Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 100%

Ever wonder what you should cook? Listen to this screaming guy! We like to skip around in the video and pick 3 of his top screams. Like “HAMBURGER” “CHEESE” “ARCTIC CHAR” and come up with a dish.

You try now!

Popularity: 19%

People all over the world have been enjoying pizza for years. Although now it is considered a decidedly American food, it has origins in Europe and many national variations. Every war since the 19th century  has had an annual unofficial Pizza for Peace Day (or Pizza pour la Jour de Paix), where fighters lay down their arms and join each other for a hot slice. Genghis Khan probably would have succeeded in wiping out more than just Persia if it wasn’t for his becoming fat and lazy after discovering pizza in his attempted Mediterranean conquests. Anthropologists and archeologists are currently working to prove a theory that Pompeii only exploded because a group of Neapolitans operating out of Salerno tried to tap into the volcano to create massive pizza ovens.

Pizza consumption has seen explosive increases worldwide since the 1970s. Until recently, that is. In 2004, the World Health Organization (WHO) saw a dramatic downturn in overall pizza sales growth, and since 2007 sales have actually been decreasing. What is behind this dramatic change? Some blame the liberal media’s obesity epidemic claims, others blame the influx of new franchises in abandoned Pizza Hut buildings, such as Chutney Hut. Foodenator’s own studies found quite another cause, however. In scientific polling, we found that people had simply grown bored with the “standard” pizza toppings. Working with grassroots and paramilitary groups, Foodenator activists began trying to stymie the pizza sales downturn by marketing new toppings: Buffalo Chicken, Pesto, and Margherita style pizzas. But this only slowed the bleeding. Fortunately, Pineappleope Research and Development teams got an early look at the data and were able to begin research on the next “Killer Topping” in the pizza world: fire. Later this summer, fire based toppings will begin to be offered alongside pepperoni and nutmeg at Bertucci’s and Dominos, and we expect fire-based toppings to be picked up independent pizza parlors across the world. PAO R&D shares went up an amazing 111 points this quarter, with further trading expecting it to cause a stock split and make investors jump up and down.

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 15%

One simple question: WOULD YOU EAT IT?

Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 19%

FOODNATE QUIZ TIME:  name your favorite donut hole munchkin popem!

Popularity: 13%

While no clinical trials or scientific data yet exists, anecdotal evidence supports the theory that as little as one Sonoran Hot Dog can cause earlobe cancers to go into immediate and complete remission. Foodenator sent a team of Food Scientists down to Arizona to put the theory to the test. The team descended on  El Quero Canelo at 5201 S. 12th Ave in Tucson, Arizona at 6:46pm. Two of the researchers ordered Sonoran Hot Dogs, while the control group ordered items off the non-weiner menu.

What is a Sonoran Hot Dog?


Subject 1 (Group A): One Sonoran Style Hot Dog, uno Coca Cola hecho en mexico, and an order of Flan with Flan Juice to wash it down.
Subject 2 (Group A): Sammy Dog and Horchata
Subject 3 (Group B): Pollo Tacos
Subject 4 (Group B): Carne Asada Carmelos, Flan with Flan Nectar, and Jarritos.


Food results: Sonoran Hot Dogs are delicious!
Therapeutic results: After dining, no incidence of earlobe cancer was found in Group A. Group B did not develop any earlobe cancer related conditions, so we can safely conclude that there is no Second-Hand Sonoran Style cancer risks. What did we prove? That science is delicious!

Popularity: 28%