Foodenator

Cats are tasty! Would you?

Popularity: 12%

Decisions, Decisions…every year at this time when entering the kitchen, we must decide between eating a real egg or a cadbury egg. Choosing the real egg might seem like an easy choice for a health nut, but let’s examine the facts.

First, the Cadbury egg requires no preparation. All that needs to be done to eat the egg is peel off the foil. Second, once you can get past the outer chocolate shell the inside of the egg is actually the same color and you don’t have to worry about un-edible shells or those gross white particles that sometimes float in raw eggs. With the chocolate shell the carbohydrates in chocolate raise serotonin levels in the brain, resulting in a sense of well-being.  Finally, you won’t be at risk for salmonella with the Cadbury egg and your sweet cravings will be cured for a good 24 hours.

If you choose the chicken egg, beware! Consuming raw eggs is unhealthy for individuals and will raise cholesterol, especially in men. Also, if you choose to cook the egg, it will be at least an 8 minute process. You will have to start with breaking the egg into a separate container, then cooking it to your liking in a pan. Then you will have to wash all the dishes that you made eating the egg.

Foodenator Staff suggests choosing the Cadbury Egg 9 times out of 10 over the Chicken Egg

Popularity: 36%

A perfect recipe to make for your love this Valentine’s Day. These cookies are pretty simple and you can decorate them however you see fit. Your special someone will thank you!

Chocolate Sugar Cookies:

2 3/4 cups all purpose flour

3/4 cup unsweetened Dutch processed cocoa powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 cup unsalted butter, room temperature

1 3/4 cups granulated white sugar

2 large eggs 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

Royal Icing Using Egg Whites:

2 large egg whites 2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice 3 cups (330 grams) confectioners (powdered or icing) sugar, sifted

In a large bowl whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, salt, and baking powder.

In the bowl of your electric mixer, beat the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add the vanilla extract and beat until combined. Add the flour mixture and beat until you have a smooth dough.>

Divide the dough in half and wrap each half in plastic wrap. Refrigerate for about one hour or until firm enough to roll.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and place rack in the center of the oven. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

Remove one half of the chilled dough from the refrigerator and, on a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough to a thickness of 1/4 inch (1 cm). (Keep turning the dough as you roll, making sure the dough does not stick to the counter.) Cut out desired shapes using a lightly floured cookie cutter and transfer cookies to the prepared baking sheet. Place the baking sheets with the unbaked cookies in the refrigerator for 10 to 15 minutes to chill the dough which prevents the cookies from spreading and losing their shape while baking.

Note: If you are not going to frost the baked cookies, you may want to sprinkle the unbaked cookies with crystal or sparkling sugar.

Bake cookies for about 10 – 12 minutes (depending on size) or until they are firm around the edges. Remove from oven and let cookies cool on baking sheet for a few minutes before transferring to a wire rack to finish cooling. Frost with royal icing, if desired. Be sure that the frosting on the cookies dries completely before storing. (This may take several hours.) Frosted cookies will keep several days in an airtight container. Store between layers of parchment paper or wax paper.

Makes about 36 – 4 inch (10 cm) cookies.

Popularity: 15%

In honor of Sara Palin’s new post as a Fox News correspondant, the staff at foodenator has decided to post her favorite cookie recipe. When Sara isn’t out shooting these big clumsy animals to mount on her wall, she is at home baking moose dropping cookies for her children.

Ingredients:
2 sticks of butter
3/4 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
3 cups oatmeal
1 cup choped walnuts
2 cups chocolate chips

Instructions:
Mix all together, drop by 1/4 cup portions on a greased cookie sheet. Bake at 325 degrees for 20 minutes

Popularity: 15%

Yah check out this pictorial Chocolate Fix! Lindt Lindor truffle time!

Exquisitely creamy chocolate and artistic mastery combined in this Lindor Truffle with an irresistibly smooth center guaranteed to melt the heart of every chocolate sucker. The perfect way to chow down when you want a choco taco! Watch the eating progress

Popularity: 25%

Here at Foodenator, we’ve decided there is NOTHING fun about fun size candy. Fun just means cheap-ass. Seriously. Here’s our analysis of a Fun Size M&M bag..

To this gal.. YELLOW is fun. The rest are too goddamn serious. Screw you, M&Ms.

Popularity: 11%

Many of us suffer cravings for candy. The causes of these cravings can vary widely but do include Adrenal Fatigue, eating disorders, premenstrual syndrom, changes in insulin and serotonin and in my case, unhealthy dieting. 

So how can you stop these cravings? 

Step 1. Go to the grocery store and purchase a variety of candy

Step 2. Fill your desk at work, your purse & your home kitchen with Candy.  See example below, pens are not edible

Popularity: 22%

This is what happens to kids whose parents do not provide sugar cereals as a part of childhood. Now I am a monster… monster mixes:

1/3 cup Sweetened Condensed Milk

2 15 oz. cans of Fruit Cocktail

3 Maraschino Cherries

The monster fills a bowl 1/3 full of ambrosia mixture. Season with Fruity Pebbles to taste. If being served to children under 10, serve with sugar bowl and large spoon.

Popularity: 15%

Around foodenator labs, we have calorie laden bowls of candy around to keep the twin evils of oral boredom and low blood sugar at bay. While the Lindt truffles are a clear favorite in the pure chocolate department, when those are gone foodenator staff fight and bicker for the small squares of Dove chocolate. Apparantly, the collapse of the global economy has even the well-funded foodenator human services department making cutbacks. Appearing in our candy bowls is the obvious knock-off chocolate squares called Bliss. Foodenator found a blind man to hire two blind judges to judge them for you in what is commonly known as a double-blind clinical trial.

Ray “Fats” Falone:

The Dove was better, the Bliss tasted like a salt-lick, I think.  I have never partook of no salt-lick, that is how the Bliss seemed to taste to me. On the other hoof, dove is a dry, potent, flavor-blast of a disco in my throat as I swallow the chocolate.

Theresa Coon:

The Bliss chocolate had a honey badger taste, with a hint of hibiscus. The Dove tasted pretty much like chocolate. If I were going to melt it down, and drizzle it over my large, shapely breasts, I would have to go with Dove.

Popularity: 29%

Juice boxes!
Of 50 proof whiskey!
With a demon on the front!!!
Aint no Capri, son.

********** (PERFECT 10!)

Popularity: 15%