Foodenator

First, we must ask ourselves what IS mayonnaise? Our experts report  ”Mayonnaise is an emulsion of oil and water” – and in fact has nothing to do with human body fluids. Thank goodness – cause that turkey sammich I’ma eat today was starting to weird me out.

One of our researchers also notes that “mayo has an incredibly high level of vitamins” which may, or may not be true. But hey, we still got to spread it all over this intern’s face to see what happened!

Now, back to the recipe stuff. We all know how difficult it can be to whip up your own mayo. Sometimes its too creamy, sometimes its too curdled, and sometimes it just flies all over the room and sticks to the walls and stuff. Nasty. Just, nasty. We found a guide, however, to make the task easier. Spoiler alert: They use a hand blender.

This article really breaks it down.. here’s the VIDEO FOOTAGE of this hot action.

Now, go on, make some mayo.

Popularity: 19%

Today’s Foodenator Poll – if you find bugs in your salad, what do you do? Eat them? Freak out? Toss them, then eat? WHAT TO DO??

Our scientists estimate that you eat about 300 bugs a year when you eat many salads at lunch time. So – should you really freak out if you SEE them? Take our poll and see if you make the right choice.

Then watch our bonus footage! Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 30%

Foodenator discovered this interesting and tasty article while searching the internet for images with chicks eating beet salads….

Real men eat salads. I know this because I am a dude. Right now, in my fridge, I have five bottles of hot sauce, a jar of Cheez Whiz and half a pack of hot dogs. But recently I went to lunch with a couple of buds, and I ordered a salad. I ordered it hard.

It was a basic frissée salad with bacon, shallots and a poached egg, tossed in a light vinaigrette. Frissée is a curly, toothsome leaf, bitter enough to balance bacon and egg but still possessed of a pleasant spring.

My friends laughed at me. They pointed. One ordered a burger, the other fried calamari. I was chastised for not eating “man food.”

For those of you who aren’t familiar with this gender normative term, “man food” is food that you’d imagine a lumberjack or a cowboy or a Viking would eat. Towers of butter-soaked pancakes. Pots of napalm-hot chili. Meat on a bone.

Thoroughly unsubtle, “man food” is rustic fare meant to satisfy a hearty appetite. Quantity is prized over quality. Calories are “fun points.” The more “fun points,” the tastier the belly filler.
But sometimes a dude needs a change. Specifically, a salad. A fresh, crisp, crunchy salad. Salads offer breathers between manly meals. Spinach, cucumber, tomato, red onions, mushrooms, chickpeas, oil and vinegar — that is my usual jam.

KEEP READING about MAN SALADS, YO! >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Popularity: 19%

This is a great recipe for the summer when you have a lot of extra tomatoes. The recipe is also very light and you can adjust the spices for your taste.

1. Thinly slice a tomato and then cut each slice into four section
2. Place tomato on a plate and sprinkle lightly with garlic powder and salt
3. Chopped up fresh basil and sprinkle across the tomatoes
4. Take the ball of fresh mozzarella and cut approximately half into small, thin slices and place on top of tomatoes
5. Use a very small amount of balsamic vinegar & olive oil on top

Popularity: 14%

This is what happens to kids whose parents do not provide sugar cereals as a part of childhood. Now I am a monster… monster mixes:

1/3 cup Sweetened Condensed Milk

2 15 oz. cans of Fruit Cocktail

3 Maraschino Cherries

The monster fills a bowl 1/3 full of ambrosia mixture. Season with Fruity Pebbles to taste. If being served to children under 10, serve with sugar bowl and large spoon.

Popularity: 19%

‘Not the King of Salads’ says Foodenator after experiencing the Burger King Salad with Grilled Chicken. Little known fact: Burger King pits you against building your own salad. How did the BK Salad do as a lunch? Foodenator has the answer

Foodenator was handed a tray full of foreign looking objects from your typical BK food handler. Contents: One paperish bag of grilled chicken (warmed), One bag of croutons, One pouch of Dressing (honey mustard), One strange looking salad container (Everything segregated from one another – 3 tomatoes, 6 mini carots, and a palm full of grated cheese | separated from straight up lettuce below), One bag with a fork inside. Having eaten a salad before, Foodenator went to work manufacturing the lunch salad.

The outcome was a decent salad that was decent tasting and had just the right portions…final salad ingredients: 2 tomatoes, 4 carrots, all the lettuce, pinch of cheese, all croutons, and half the dressing. As mentioned above, it was decent. Although Foodenator ate one of the healthier choices at BK, the atmosphere at BK is the same and still felt like a fattie leaving

*****1/2 5 1/2 (out of 10)

Popularity: unranked

Wendy’s salad bar this is not. You might think a salad bar at a grocery store might have some fresh vegetable selections, since you buy fresh vegetables at a grocery store to eat. It crossed my mind. Grocery store ‘shaws’ finds a way to put out the oldest most gnarly unfresh vegetables on display in their salad bar. The lettuce was mush, the tomatoes were mush, the carrots (!!!) were mush, the cucumbers were mush, the peppers were mush, the snap peas were mush, and the other vegies just looked unpleasant/inedible.

On the brighter side. The salad bar offered a wide selection of mystery meats so well chopped you couldn’t tell the difference between ham, chicken, and tuna by looking at them. Chicken ended up on the salad, which took a while to come to the conclusion it was actually chicken because it had the texture of tuna and some of the smell. The best thing on the salad bar was the peperoni slices. Peperoni slices doused in regular non-non-fat ranch with the essence of salad, yum

** 2 (out of 10)

Popularity: 10%